Construction is one of the most dangerous jobs in America — and not only because of what happens on the jobsite. Behind every number is a coworker, a foreman, an apprentice — somebody’s dad, somebody’s daughter.
At Master Builders of Iowa, we spend a lot of time talking about jobsite safety — fall protection, PPE, hazard elimination. We don’t always talk as openly about the hazard that never shows up on an OSHA log: the isolation, the pressure, the “tough it out” culture that can keep someone from ever saying they’re struggling. Protecting our people has to mean protecting all of them, not just the parts of the job that are easy to see.
That’s why we’re reprinting this piece from YouTurn Health. It isn’t a clinical guide — it’s a practical, human one, for anyone who has ever wondered what to say to a coworker who doesn’t seem like himself lately. You don’t have to be a counselor. You don’t have to have the right words. You just have to be willing to ask.
How to Check In with Someone Struggling with Thoughts of Suicide | Youturn Health
By: Youturn Health
09.01.2026
One of the biggest myths surrounding suicide is that only mental health professionals can help prevent it. The fact is that we are all part of the solution. If you think someone is struggling with thoughts of self-harm, it is important to ask them about it. You don’t have to have the solution to their problem. You don’t have to be a therapist. You just have to let them know you care.
Dispelling More Myths About Suicide
Before you check in with someone, it’s important to check in with yourself. Do you have preconceived thoughts about people who attempt or die by suicide? Do those thoughts stand up to the facts? Let’s quickly dispel some common myths.
Myth 1: Talking about suicide will increase the chance that the person will act on it.
Studies show that asking about suicidal thoughts doesn’t increase in a likelihood of a suicide attempt, AND that talking about it may help the person feel better and find support. This is a chance to help them see a different view of their life than they currently see.
Myth 2: People who talk about taking their own lives are just doing it for attention.
More than 48,000 people in the U.S. died by suicide in 2024 Death by suicide is a reality, and if someone says they’re thinking of taking their own life, they deserve to be taken seriously. They do need attention; they need someone to listen, care, and help.
Myth 3: People who take their own lives are selfish, cowards, or weak.
Someone struggling with thoughts of self-harm is in tremendous emotional pain They see themselves as a burden and that life is hopeless and will always be hopeless. Their emotional pain clouds their ability to make rational decisions to the degree that ending their life is, they believe, the only way to relieve the pain. It’s not about death being a better option for them; it’s about it being the only option to being in unrelenting pain.
Myth 4: Suicide can’t be prevented.
Suicide prevention can be difficult, but it is definitely possible. Screening, general education, and treatments like medications or talk therapy can and do work, though it may take some time.
Warning Signs for Suicide
It’s important to know that there aren’t always warning signs that someone is considering suicide. Sometimes there are; sometimes there aren’t. Sometimes you only see them in retrospect.
In an interview for our You Learn You Turn podcast a few years ago, Leslie Weirich recounted that when her son Austin took his own life, “people always ask me did I see risk factors or did I see warning signs with Austin. And I tell everyone, ‘I saw a lot of warning signs, and I saw no warning signs.’ ”
If you suspect someone is struggling with thoughts of suicide, don’t wait for warning signs. Ask them directly, take them seriously, and connect them to resources.
That said, here are some common warning signs:
• A drastic change in their normal personality or behavior
• Talking about wanting to die
• Engaging in self-harm
• Prior suicide attempts
• Talking about feeling trapped or a sense of hopelessness
• Socially isolating themselves
• No longer participating in activities they used to enjoy
• Giving away possessions
• Contacting people they haven’t talked to in awhile
How to Help Someone Who’s Struggling with Thoughts of Suicide
Know that it’s ok not to have all the answers. You don’t have to solve their problems or be their therapist. Ask a direct question, listen to what they say, and guide them to resources.
Pick the appropriate time and place to talk. It should be a private spot where you won’t be interrupted and they will feel more comfortable sharing. Remove distractions like your phone; this conversation should be the only thing taking your attention.
Start by asking something like, “I noticed you haven’t been yourself lately, and I wanted to check in because I care about you. Can you tell me a little more about what you’re going through?” The goal is to ask a question that pushes beyond “Are you ok?” because we all answer “I’m fine,” even when we’re not.
Listen to what they say. If appropriate, ask directly if they’re thinking about suicide. Again, listen to what they’re saying and react accordingly. Don’t minimize what they’re feeling; it may not seem like a major issue to you, but it is to them, and that’s all that matters.
If They Say No or Are Vague
If they say they’re not considering suicide or give an unclear answer, don’t argue with them. Say that you can understand they may be reluctant to share with them, but you care about them, so you want to let them know what resources are available if they ever need them. Ask if there’s any support you can give them right now and if you can check back in with them in a few days to see how they’re doing. If you offer to check in, do it. Put it in your calendar so you remember.
If They Say Yes and It’s an Emergency
If they are actively threatening suicide, don’t leave them alone. Remove any lethal means they have access to (weapons, narcotics, etc.), and call 911 or take them to an emergency room for professional help.
If They Say Yes, But It’s Not an Emergency
If they say they have struggled with thoughts of suicide but they’re not actively threatening to take their own life, the goal is to get them to support right away.
Don’t promise that you’ll keep it a secret; if they’re thinking of taking their life, they need support which may be beyond your abilities. Ask them specifically how they’d like to get help. Help is available, and you can find additional resources by searching for suicide prevention resources. Some suggestions:
• Offer to call 988 with them so they don’t feel alone.
• Help them create a safety plan and a care network.
• Stay in touch with them to show you care. At the end of your conversation, ask if it’s okay if you check in again with them to see how they’re doing. If you offer to check in, do it. Put it in your calendar so you don’t forget.
Make Sure to Take Care of Yourself
Asking someone about suicidal thoughts is emotional regardless of the outcome. Give yourself time and space to process what happens, and if you find yourself struggling, reach out for help. Everyone struggles, and everyone deserves support.
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